i’m movin’ on
sayin ‘ buh-bye to the memories
the nightmares
i finally
woke up from .
why cry ,
when your not worth it.
with a smile on my face
i realized it wasn’t love .
don’t waste your time
cuz
i’m the one smilin’
and it’s cuz of you.
now as i watch you from a distance
i still think about what we had
what we could have been
but
i’m gunna shake it
i’m gunna rock
i’m gunna roll
i’m gunna let loose
…I’m gonna love
again
Monday, November 17, 2008
Movin' on (matrix)
Posted by kellymae at 10:32 AM
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4 comments:
This is a LOT clearer than before. It's good that you took out the "poppin' low" line because it confused all of us.
Alsooo, the ending helps clarify your theme. Which was needed as we all discussed, I think.
So overall, you made good choices with the additions and they improved your poem. :)
I agree, this is a lot clearer and exemplifies your theme. Nice
Job.
i like the ending. however, i'm a little confused with the "i woke up from ." part. if you want to leave it hanging, i'd suggest maybe ellipsis marks.
alot of cliches are used in this poem. Maybe a little finer details and or maybe a few diffent word choices. Idk just an idea to make it different :D
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